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Ask Mega-Brain

 

Mega-Brain is an odd creature who hopped up to me on his one foot the other day and refused to leave unless I gave him a job on The Stranded Alien. I asked why he chose MY blog for which to ply his trade. He said that he admired my logical approach to life and wanted to be a part of my problem-solving mission. I told him I didn’t have any money and therefore couldn’t pay him. He explained that all he required was sustenance in the form of cerebral stimulation. That worked for me because I couldn’t give him food either. As I got to know Mega-Brain, I realized how incredibly intelligent he is. After all, he IS mostly brain. I decided it might be a win for both of us if I put him to work answering your questions – no matter how stupid or complex they may be.

So have some fun and ask him questions about anything – relationships, politics, religion, science, how-to… anything. Simply type your question in the comments section below and check back later to see the answer. I’m depending on your questions to sustain his brain. If you don’t participate, his brain will shrivel up and he may die or I may have to lay him off.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. December 8, 2010 10:35 PM

    why is it so dang cold?! 🙂

    • December 9, 2010 11:56 AM

      You might ask, what happened to global warming? That is a misnomer. You should refer to it as climate change. Our weather patterns have become extreme – extremely hot, like last summer, and extremely cold, like now. Spring and Autumn hardly exist anymore. We go from Summer to Winter and from Winter back to Summer again. Whether you believe that climate change is caused by human activity or not, it looks like we’re going to have to get used to this new normal. We are under the effects of an arctic air mass coming down from Canada. It makes one wonder how the Canadians survive the bitter cold.

  2. Mary permalink
    December 14, 2010 9:42 AM

    How do we stop WalMart

    • December 14, 2010 1:09 PM

      Stop them from doing what? WalMart is too big for one person to bring down. It is almost impossible to find any American-made goods in their stores and, as long as their prices are so low on the imported merchandise, people will continue to shop there. The only way to get their attention is with a nationwide boycot. Good luck trying to organize something like that! Strandedalien’s current cause of the month says, “If it’s not made in the USA… Don’t buy it!” All you can do is adopt that philosophy for yourself and try to get everyone you know to do the same. Also, support merchants who DO carry products made in America. The problem is that not many things are manufactured in the USA anymore and everyone is looking for the best bargain.

  3. April 21, 2011 7:10 PM

    Mega Brain, why is stranded alien such a bitch?

    • April 21, 2011 9:35 PM

      Well, JTB,

      First of all the word “bitch” when used as a noun refers to a female dog. I can assure you that SA is NOT female. However he can be a real dog at times. In colloquial use, the noun “bitch” has come to mean a human female whose goal is to dominate, control and destroy a man’s finances, mental health, self-esteem and any hope for happiness. SA is not that either.

      I assume you’re using the word as a verb, as in: Why does SA “bitch” so much? I would say that the short answer to that question is frustration. He is frustrated by stupid people, greedy people, and cruel people. The way SA figures it, that accounts for 50% of Democrats, 75% of the human race, and 100% of the republican party.

      In the years that he has been stranded on Earth, SA has witnessed the continual decline of human society as each year passes. The idiocy is more than he can bear. He wants to fix what’s wrong with the human race but he feels powerless to do so. Therefore, he tries to point out to his readers what is wrong in hopes that they will understand and do whatever they can to fix things. If that sounds like bitching to you, I guess it depends on what percentage of the human race you’re in. If you’re in the 75% of humans who are stupid, greedy and cruel, then I can see how you would call it bitching. Remember that one man’s bitch is another man’s dream date. So if you’re in the 25% of humans who realize that the world is going to hell and that SA knows why, then it doesn’t sound like bitching to them. It sounds more like a call to positive action, or maybe a love song by Johnny Mathis or Barry White.

      • April 25, 2011 9:03 PM

        Amen brother!!! I call you my brother…and it only sounds like bitchin’ to the “sheep”

  4. May 6, 2011 5:53 PM

    mega brain why do you sound so much like strandedalien? 😛

    • May 6, 2011 11:07 PM

      Great minds think alike, and when they communicate via the written word, they tend to sound similar. I assure you that I am much more intelligent than the strandedalien, but don’t tell him I said that.

  5. May 6, 2011 5:53 PM

    mega brain, why is the grass green? 😛

    • May 7, 2011 12:05 AM

      Because your lawn would look really wierd if it was red or blue. Seriously, though, white light is made up of all the colors of the rainbow. An easy way to remember the colors in the visible spectrum is ROY G. BIV – Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, and Violet. Snow doesn’t absorb any of these colors, so all of them are reflected and we see snow as white. Grass and most other plants appear green because they contain a pigment known as chlorophyll which absorbs all the colors except green which is reflected back to our eyes.

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