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Alien News Brief 07-14-2013

July 14, 2013


Florida: White man George Zimmerman was found NOT guilty of killing black teen Trayvon Martin AND he will get his gun back. Black woman Marissa Alexander gets 20 years for firing a warning shot toward her abusive ex-husband. What’s wrong with this red state? Asked and answered.

Egypt: After one year in office the first democratically-elected President, Mohamed Morsi of the Muslim Brotherhood Party, was ousted in a popular/military coup. The country is now on the brink of a civil war. This is what happens when you mix religion with politics.

Texas: Women seeking entrance to the state legislature were searched before being allowed to witness the re-vote of the anti-abortion bill. Their tampons, maxipads and condoms were confiscated but it’s okay to carry a gun into the chamber. Another wacky red state.

New York: Disgraced former state Attorney General and patron of elite escorts Eliot Spitzer is running for NYC comptroller. Flasher and former 9th district congressman, Anthony Weiner, is running for NYC Mayor. Obviously they have no shame.

Canada: 31-year-old Cory Monteith who played “Finn Hudson” on the hit show “Glee” was found dead in a Vancouver hotel room. Sad.

Canada: A train hauling 70 tankers of crude oil derailed in Lac-Megantic, Quebec, destroying the town and killing over 60 of its residents. This disaster is brought to you by the same people who insist that their proposed XL pipeline through the heartland of America can safely transport the dirtiest of all crude oil from Alberta to the Gulf of Mexico without leaking a drop.

Spain:    A 23-year-old woman was gored in the back and suffered multiple rib fractures and damage to her right lung that left her in “very grave” condition during the annual “Running of the Bulls”. Four other runners were hospitalized with cuts and bruises. I wonder if they have health insurance. What a bunch of morons!

California: An anchor for KTVU-TV read the names of the pilots of Asiana Flight 214 that crash-landed in San Francisco. The NTSB had confirmed these names. Unfortunately for KTVU, it was a hoax. Try not to laugh too hard while reading the names out loud:
Captain Sum Ting Wong
Wi Tu Lo
Ho Lee Fuk
Bang Ding Ow

Brazil: 45-year-old Joao de Souza was killed when a 3,000 pound cow crashed through the roof and landed on the man while he and his wife slept. The cow had wandered away from her farm and walked onto the roof which abuts a steep hillside. The wife and the cow were unharmed.

News Note: Since Colorado and Washington State legalized marijuana eight months ago, the world hasn’t come to an end.

One Comment leave one →
  1. July 28, 2013 12:34 PM

    I really can’t believe that woman got twenty years in jail. That is just as wrong as anything ever was! And that stupid ass Wiener guy ugh. His wife, even worse.

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