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Fireworks, Brain Damage, Alcohol Don’t Mix

July 4, 2012

Ah, another Fourth of July holiday – a day off from work to celebrate the founding of America with cookouts, friendly gatherings, beer and fireworks. I have nothing against any of that. What I do have a problem with is powerful explosives in the hands of brain-damaged drunks who are unable to realize the possible consequences of their actions. I speak from experience.

Many years ago, when I was younger and stupider, a friend and I were drinking and celebrating the Fourth with some roman candles. One of the fiery balls lodged in a tree and the leaves caught fire. Like a Keystone Kop, I grabbed the garden hose and ran toward the tree. The hose ran out of length before getting near enough to the tree and its recoil knocked me on my butt. My friend ran back and got another length of hose. The tree fire was growing as we fumbled to connect the two hoses together. We finally managed to get enough hose to reach the tree, turned on the water and extinguished the fire.

That was back before the dry, drought-ridden conditions we experience nowadays. If a similar drunken episode occurred now, the results could be devastating. I live in a very wooded area where the trees are suffering from the searing heat and lack of rain, and fireworks are perfectly legal. I really worry that one misguided rocket shot by a brain-damaged amateur could burn down my entire neighborhood and everything I worked so hard to build.

People need to realize that fireworks are not toys. The first syllable in the word is “FIRE”. There’s a reason for that. Just one little firecracker on dry grass could cause a catastrophic wildfire like those in Colorado right now. When you party this Fourth of July, don’t let the knee-walking, toilet-hugging drunks get near the explosives. Designate a non-drinker to handle the fireworks. Keep a long garden hose handy. Or, better yet, leave the pyrotechnics to the professionals and just enjoy the show.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. July 6, 2012 11:17 AM

    Good post, so very true. I couldn’t believe the huge amount of roman candle fireworks all around my house this year. There was no need at all to go to special show. And I was treated to a repeat last night. I can’t imagine who had that much money.

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