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Processed Mystery Food

April 29, 2012

I don’t eat breakfast, so about two o’clock today I threw a Banquet “Mexican Style chicken Enchilada Meal” into the microwave. While it was heating, I happened to look closer at the front of the box the meal came in. “What the hell am I about to eat?” I asked myself. And the answer was: “Chicken & Textured Vegetable Protein Product!” What the hell is that, chicken renderings and tofu? Well, I ate it and haven’t keeled over yet. It didn’t taste like chicken, but then the beef tamale didn’t taste like beef either. I’m afraid to read the ingredients in the fine print.

I remember when this $1.25 meal cost 88-cents and came with two beef things and one cheese thing plus refried beans and rice. Now all you get is the beef thing and a simulated chicken thing with a side of rice. What’s this planet coming to?

If it sounds like I’m bitching, well, I am. We keep paying more and more for less and less. It’s getting so that the packaging is worth more than the pittly dollop of unknown food product that comes in it. And don’t get me started on ice cream that used to be a half-gallon, then went to 1.75 quarts and is now 1.5 quarts. It still costs the same or more. So, in this era of glued meat, pink slime, genetically modified vegetables and fish, we all need to ask ourselves: “What the hell am I eating?”

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