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Women and Sports

February 6, 2012

There was a time not so long ago when human females didn’t like sports. That worked out well for me because, as an alien male, I couldn’t care less about sports either. Women liked that about me because I didn’t spend my weekends glued to the TV set and therefore could spend more time doting on them. It also worked out well for human males who found refuge from the women in their lives for a few hours each week. It was a man’s world and the only women who were allowed into it were the cheerleaders, each of whom had the physical attributes of a Playboy playmate.

Somewhere along the line all that changed. Women have infiltrated every aspect of the testosterone-fueled world of sports. They have become every bit as avid about sports as men are… maybe even more so. Now you find them in the stands, on the tailgates stuffing themselves with fried chicken and beer, and on the couches in front of the 70-inch TVs screaming and cheering for their favorite team.

Here’s my theory: Women realized that men’s passion for sports exceeded their passion for them. So, if they wanted to spend more time with their men, they had to pretend to share that passion. But women can’t do things half way so they horned in and took over. Men could have (and probably should have) nipped that in the bud, but they knew that doing so would have put a damper on their other passion… sex.

The winners in all this are the sports promoters who have doubled their ticket sales, the purveyors of sports-related crap, beer, fried chicken and wide-screen TVs who have widened their markets and, of course, the ladies who have scored another victory for women’s lib.

We’ve already seen a rise in women competing in what were once considered “men’s sports”. Danica Patrick competes admirably in auto racing. There are women boxers who could kick most men’s asses. So, what’s next? Will we see women linebackers in the NFL? Will women be standing up to pee? Will men take up crocheting in order to get away from their women for a little while? James Brown, who sang “This Is A Man’s World”, is probably turning over in his grave, for there is no place left in this world that a man can claim as his own.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. February 12, 2012 3:53 PM

    Being able to stand and pee would be great but I am not going into a man’s bathroom! I would however like to be able to kick a man’s ass!

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