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An Audience With The President

August 5, 2011

Have you seen the latest edition of Newsweak Magazine? That’s me on the cover with President Obama. He was gracious enough to meet with me today in the Oval Office. Things were a little calmer than usual in Washington so we were able to talk for an hour. The debt ceiling bill was passed, Congress was out of town on vacation, and Mr. Obama was back from Chicago where he had just celebrated his 50th birthday.

I told him that, even though I was running against him for president in the next election, I am ready to endorse his re-election should my campaign crash and burn. We began our meeting by complimenting each other. I told him that I considered him a bright ray of hope in a sea of conservative darkness. He told me that he appreciated all my hard work trying to get the truth out to the American people. Then we got down to business.

I explained to him how disappointed we are with how his first term has gone. It’s not all his fault. He has run up against the most vicious, hard-line obstructionist republicans to ever hold national office. What we do blame him for is his inability to rally the Democrats in congress to stand up to the wrong-headed extremists. It was very disappointing when he caved to the republicans on the extension of the tax cuts for the wealthy and on the debt ceiling bill. He asked what choices he had. I said that he needed to stop being so nice. Forget about fostering bi-partisanship in Washington. That ship has sailed. Don’t be afraid to call the republicans’ bluff and learn to play their game of hardball and play it better than they do. Don’t hesitate to use their political terrorism and hostage-taking tactics against them. They have turned the political landscape into a bloody battlefield and surrender is not an option. Be willing to fight to the death to preserve the democratic principles that have made America great.

He said that I had given him a lot to think about and promised that things will be different from this point forward. Then he surprised me by asking if I would consider replacing Joe Biden as his running mate in 2012. I thought about it for a moment and then gave the textbook political answer: “I’m running for president and don’t want to be number two on anyone’s ticket.” He seemed disappointed but thanked me for my candor and all my advice. The cover photo was taken as he walked me out. At that instant I was reminding him to grow some cojones and kick some republican ass. Then we shook hands and I wished him a happy birthday. What a great guy our president is and what a great day I had!

8 Comments leave one →
  1. August 5, 2011 9:33 PM

    That was fabulous!

  2. Chuck permalink
    August 6, 2011 7:22 PM

    Great advice, SA. Next time you talk to him, remind Obama of Jimmy Carter . . . another articulate and generally good man.

  3. Anonymous permalink
    August 9, 2011 8:27 PM

    It is amazing how you Demicans and Republicrats go at each other, neither seeming to realize that you are opposite sides of the same coin. It all blends in well with the grand scheme based on the Hegelian dialectic. If the common folk are busy fighting amongst themselves, they won’t have time or inclination to question the ones behind the scenes controlling BOTH parties. (hint: follow the money). If you were a true alien, as I am, you would surely know these things. Otherwise, you seem very perceptive and thoughtful. Continue your quest for Truth!

    SA (my real initials)

    • August 10, 2011 11:56 AM

      Okay, I had to look up Hegelian dialectic and for my readers who, like myself, had never heard of it, I’m presenting a borrowed explanation here:

      the Hegelian dialectic provides tools for the manipulation of society.

      To move the public from point A to point B, one need only find a spokesperson for a certain argument and position him as an authority. That person represents Goalpost One. Another spokesperson is positioned on the other side of the argument, to represent Goalpost Two.

      Argument A and B can then be used to manipulate a given social discussion. If one wishes, for instance, to promote IDEA C, one merely needs to promote the arguments of Goalpost One (that tend to promote IDEA C) more effectively than the Arguments of Goalpost Two. This forces a slippage of Goalpost Two’s position. Thus both Goalpost One and Goalpost Two advance downfield toward IDEA C. Eventually Goalpost Two occupies Goalpost One’s original position. The “anti-C” argument now occupies the pro-C position. In this manner whole social conversations are shifted from, say, a debate over market freedom vs. socialism to a debate about the degree of socialism that is desirable.

      The Hegelian dialectic is a powerful technique for influencing the conversations of cultures and nations, especially if one already controls (owns) much of the important media in which the arguments take place. One can then, as the monetary elite characteristically do, emphasize one argument at the expense of the other, effectively shifting the positions of Goalposts One and Two.

  4. Anonymous permalink
    August 12, 2011 3:39 PM

    Ah, now you’re thinking! That’s a pretty good description. I’ve also seen it described as:

    Problem + Reaction –> Solution


    Thesis + Antithesis –> Synthesis

    The goal of this classic implementation of the Hegelian dialectic is nothing less than total domination and enslavement of the citizens of Earth. I know this sounds drastic, and maybe somewhat paranoid, but think about it. By your own admission, “Humans are Scum”. Although I don’t necessarily prescribe to this notion (after all, God created Humankind, and God doesn’t create trash), it is true that, left to their own devices, Humans certainly behave in a scum-like manner. So why is it so hard to believe that people with nearly unlimited money and power would strive to garner even more money and power. It doesn’t really make sense to me either, but such is the nature of the beast.
    What can we do about this? How do we fight back? Don’t let them sieze our minds and implant fear, hated, and other negative emotions. Knowledge, Truth, and Love are the answer!

    You may ask, “How can my thoughts and attitude change anything?”. Consider gravity. We can’t see it or touch it, and even the best human minds can not adequately describe or explain it. But look at gravity’s profound effect on everything we do and everything around us. Such is the power of our minds. Right thought produces right action; it cannot do otherwise. Continue your journey, my Brother!

    Sagittarian Archer

    • August 12, 2011 5:42 PM

      First of all, not all humans are scum but they all have the ingredients within them. “God” may have created humankind with the best intentions, but he made the mistake of giving them free will. That backfired right off the bat when Eve ate the apple.

      Second, if you’ve ever had an all-consuming hobby, it’s easy to see why those with power and money are never satisfied and strive for more. That is their hobby. It’s like being addicted to the game Monopoly. These people need to broaden their horizons and find a less greedy and self-centered hobby.

      Third, I agree with your solution but I find it somewhat simplistic. One person’s knowledge, truth and love is not enough. It will take a multitude of like-minded people to effect a change and we’re not at that level yet.

      Finally, as for the Hegelian Dialectic, I think you will see a good explanation of that in a video called “The American Dream”. Every American should watch it. It’s 30 minutes long, but I think you would find it well worth your time. Here is the link:

      Thanks for all your comments.

  5. Anonymous permalink
    August 12, 2011 3:51 PM

    Just to clarify, the above comment, signed “SA”, was left by Sagitarion Archer, not the Stranded Alien. It was not my intention to try to usurp your moniker. (Is it still a moniker if it consists of TWO words?). I apologize for any confusion. I will make sure that I clarfy this in any future posts.

    • August 12, 2011 5:22 PM

      A moniker is a name or a nickname, so I suppose it can be two words. Yes, your SA moniker is causing confusion but we’ll just have to deal with it. No one understands your desire to remain anonymous than I do. By the way, you need to check the spelling… it is Sagittarian.

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