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Cuckoo For Cocaine

March 19, 2011

You should have heeded my warning, Charlie. This past November I told you that you were on top of the world but you were about to fall off. Since you don’t do anything half-assed, when you finally did fall, you fell hard. You went from making two-million dollars per episode of Two and a Half Men, to being unemployed and unemployable. But that’s not the worst of it. What is truly sad is what you did to all the people who worked on the show… the writers, producers, crew members and the wonderful cast that made the show number one. They are all now out of a job because of your bloated ego.

The reason the show was so highly-rated was not because of you, but because of all the people around you. You were just the butt of all the jokes. The scriptwriters provided hilarious situations and dialog, and a supremely talented cast of comedic actors deftly delivered a constant barrage of laughs. It was their characters that made the show so funny.

Of course there were the regulars like Jon Cryer (brother Allen), Angus T. Jones (nephew Jake), Conchata Ferrell (Berta, the sarcastic and manipulating housekeeper), Holland Taylor (the narcissistic yet morally bereft mother from hell), Melanie Lynskey (Rose, the sweet, insane and lovely stalker) and Marin Hinkle (Allan’s nemesis and ex-wife, Judith). Then there were the occasionals like Martin Mull (Russel, the drug-addled pharmacist), Kelly Stables (Allan’s tiny and gorgeous receptionist Melissa), and Jane Lynch (Dr. Freeman the psychiatrist with a razor wit), plus an endless stream of cameos.

Did you ever stop to think what effect your outrageous personal life might have on all these people? Do you even care? I would especially like to know what young Jake (Angus T. Jones) thinks about you now. He had never acted before landing the role of Jake, but he became such a comedic success that he was pulling down $300K per episode when you melted down. His formative years were spent in your presence. I only hope that he doesn’t aspire to be like you and that he is as disgusted and angered by you as I am.

One Comment leave one →
  1. April 2, 2011 6:55 PM

    I’m not sure Charlie boy is really a human so I am betting that he doesn’t really give a damn about anyone else in the world but himself.

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